Reflections on Mother's Day

While garden centers, restaurants, and greeting card companies like it, Mother's Day is a mixed bag for many people. The concept is a nice one as there's little doubt that most mothers sacrifice for their children, nurture them, and deserve at least one day of appreciation. But for those that were unable to have children for many possible reasons, or that have lost their children, it could be a day of sadness or mourning.  Those mourning the loss of a mom, or people with bad moms dislike this day immensely because it is a reminder of what they don't have.

We attended a church in college that gave prizes for those that were somehow "winners" in the mom-game. They celebrated the one with the most children, the one with the most grandchildren, the one that had a child present that had traveled the most to be there, etc.  It seemed very inconsiderate. Of course the mom with the most kids was the winner each year... it'd be hard for people to catch up with her dozen or so kids. If you had one or two children, you knew you'd never be in the running for that one... and chances are, it'd be slim to have the most grandchildren too. One year two moms had children there from a long distance. One came from Chicago and the other Dallas, and someone started a debate about distance. Why not declare it a tie? But for that matter, if your child lived across the street, were you less worthy?  What if you couldn't even have children? What made any of these women any better than other women?

As a young mother with elementary and preschool aged children, I sat through the church service many years feeling like a failure. The pastor we had at the time always talked about the virtuous moms of the Bible and spoke in glowing terms of their steadfast love and dedication. He spoke of women that never raised their voices in anger and always supported their husbands.

Meanwhile, having just managed to get the family to church in time - and dressed at that - I was feeling less than worthy of honor. I recalled the cross words when I told a child for the third time to get out of bed. Then there was the fact that one of my sons had on his old tennis shoes because the other new one seemed lost that morning - even though he wore it the day before. No, they didn't have a great breakfast - they had whatever cereal they grabbed while I fed the baby. Speaking of the baby, it probably spit up on my dress so there was that to deal with as well. I was not only a working mom, I was a teacher, so spent far too many evenings dealing with schoolwork rather than playing board games with my kids. Every year I dreaded that service.

The advertisements that showed husbands and kids taking mom out to eat, showering her with praise and gifts, and showing their love just made things worse. That wasn't my reality. We left church and headed home to a meal that more likely than not, was one I cooked... and cleaned up after. In the afternoon, people did their own things and I wrote lessen plans.  Eventually, I convinced my husband that buying a plant was NOT stupid since that is what I wanted. After a few years of token gifts, the kids were older and no longer as cheerful about the effort. I figured out that the day was a bust and I might as well take matters into my own hands. I went shopping ALONE and picked out flowers for my porch or garden.  The first year, I did it as a minor temper tantrum (that probably went un-noticed) but I discovered that it was fantastic! They were relieved of the hassle. I got exactly what I wanted and had a break from childcare. Over the years, I expanded it and now look forward to my annual gardening trip.

But my motherhood experience has been one of the good ones. For the most part, things have gone smoothly overall. At least they all made it to adulthood, something I wasn't sure would happen at some points. Memories of hassles dim and it made me stronger. There are many more good memories than bad.

But while I disliked the Mother's Day moments I described, there are others that have it much worse. In reality, we should take a day to honor those that NURTURE us - an aunt, grandparent, dad, teacher, or a friend.  Not many moms are "Hallmark Moms" as we're human.   In later years, I had pastors that realized that it does take a village.. and many people are needed to fill the "mom" role in a person's life. (Don't get me started on "mom role" as that's another whole can of worms!)

After I lowered my expectations on Mother's Day and realized adoration was only on commercials, I had a pretty significant thought.  It's too bad I didn't think of it back when I had that pastor that talked about the wonderful Biblical moms.... but Mary, the mother of Jesus, was more than the woman in the blue scarf of the Nativity Play. She lost her son on the way home! She DIDN'T KNOW WHERE HE WAS.  She wasn't watching him and thought he was with friends. They had to go back the next day to find him at the Temple. Yes, she was frantic.  When I read that account I think back to the times when I wasn't sure where my kids were - especially once they were driving.  There's the whole "I'm scared to death but once I find out you're safe, I'm going to be so angry" thing going on.  So maybe we only heard the good stuff of the Biblical women. We didn't hear about the times they burned dinner or yelled at kids. But that didn't mean it didn't happen!

 I'm fortunate - though my mom is gone, when I think of her, I have only smiles, not tears. She was a loving and creative mom. I also have Nancy Doty​, a dear friend that has served as a mom as well as close friend, too. Motherhood isn't easy - the joys are wrapped in trials, but I'm glad I've had the opportunity to do it. I hope that everyone can claim at least one person that is "there" for them, no matter what.

My Grandmother, a Women Ahead of Her Time

My maternal grandmother was a study in contrasts. She was a woman ahead of her time in some areas but also clung to ritual and proper behavior in others. To me, she was "Grandma" and seemed to stay the same age even though I aged. But her life was connected to the times she lived as well as the past and pushing forward Looking back, I suspect she was frustrated by limits put on her by society, just as she seemed desperate to make sure we followed the rules that were being cast away by our generation.

She played the piano for us. She could play just about anything by ear but also played intricate classical music. One of the favorites was "Up a Lazy River" which she played with all the flourishes, almost every time she visited. She and her sister, Alice, used to earn money for school (Oberlin College) playing the piano at the local movie theater. What? Playing the piano at the movies? Yes, it was the time of the silent movies, Charlie Chaplin style. They'd be the first to see the movies and played the music to bring attention to the dramatic moments.  She always said that "Alice was the talented one. That's why I had to excel in academics." Well, I never heard my great-aunt play the piano, but knew my grandmother was good. Even at an early age though, I felt sorry for her that she felt inferior and that it was a competition. Knowing my aunt, I can't imagine her thinking of it in that way.

As a child, I recall going through a trunk of her "flapper dresses" from high school and college.She taught me to do the Charleston. According to her though, she wasn't like the girls in the movies. I'm not surprised - she liked fun, but in a very conservative manner. (The Dowager Countess on Downton Abbey reminds me of my grandmother, though of a different age) She graduated high school in 1927. She was very active in sorority life in college. I remember reading notes from her girlfriends - apparently, she was quite the social butterfly. At a time when other women dropped out of school in 8th grade, and considered it "educated" to graduate high school, she went to college. Even as a middle schooler, I was impressed since I realized how unusual that was for the time period. After that, she got married and she and my grandpa continued their education, getting graduate degrees at Ohio State, even though the Depression had hit.

While she had many friends, keeping up with them for decades, she had a more serious side as well. My grandmother knew the importance of "proper behavior," even to the point of getting carried away. My grandpa was a Methodist minister and she played the role of "Minister's wife." She told me about hosting tea with the ladies of the church and the importance of having a proper home, always ready for people to stop by. Later, my grandpa was the Dean of Students at Adrian College in Michigan. (They later named a building after him.) Her days of serving tea continued. This came up regularly, but especially when she discovered my future husband was headed into the ministry. She was convinced I needed a silver tea service for a wedding present, though matching stoneware would have seemed fancy to us. I tried to convince her that in the 1980s, women didn't do things the way they were done 40 years earlier.

Growing up, we always had Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner at her house, often with some friends of the family. it was a dress-up affair. Unlike my dad's parents' celebration, with lots of people grabbing a plate and sitting wherever they could, we all sat stiffly in the dining room. Each place setting had 2-3 forks, knife, and 1-2 spoons, as well as a water glass, glass to drink with appetizer, and drink for the meal. Add a plate for appetizers, the dinner plate, dessert plate, etc. The meat was served at the head of the table and plates presented to each one. We were taught, even as little kids, the proper way to use all of that. Later, I at least knew how to handle myself in the rare moments it came up.

I remember an interview I did with her when I was about 9 or so. We had a school assignment to interview the oldest person we knew and ask about their childhood. One of the things I remember was when she talked about what they did for fun. She loved ice skating with friends and activities with her church group. She explained how they made taffy and about making maple syrup. To me, it seemed like a chapter from one of my favorite childhood books, "Little House on the Prairie," though she was a later time period. As an adult, it occurred to me that she might not have had an indoor bathroom growing up, though she was in town, not the country, so it was possible. The idea of my very-proper grandmother using an outhouse just seemed impossible. I never had the nerve to ask her about it!

As her oldest grandchild, we spent more time together than my sisters and cousins did. My cousins lived far away, so I understood her not seeing them, but I later wondered why she didn't do as much with my sisters. Perhaps it was because she didn't want to have multiple kids at once? We had our annual events, just the two of us, such as the Christmas Tree display at Cheekwood Mansion followed by tea with her friends, or the Steeplechase. I remember the two of us getting dressed up to go shopping downtown when I was in elementary school. When I was older, she took me to the symphony regularly. We often cooked together, especially preparing for holidays, and she shared all the family recipes and told me family stories from her grandparents. Latin was one of my majors in high school, something no one else in my immediate family studied. But she'd taught Latin so enjoyed helping me study. I later learned that she and my grandpa used to write love letters to each other in Latin. I came across them after she'd died.

While we had good times together, she was definitely NOT the cuddly spoiling model of a grandma. We had a lot in common, but I always figured that she would have developed interests with the others if she had just made the effort. Unlike the "everything you do is perfect" grandparenting attitude of some people, I always felt I had to live up to her standards. I knew that she not only felt things had to be done "properly," but realized she was a bit of a snob as well. She tried very hard to convince me to go to a private college and pledge her sorority. She told me many times that I was selling myself short by considering a state school. I rejected her plea to attend Peabody locally and went to a state college 50 miles away so I could be independent.

To say she valued education would be an understatement. Both she and her husband, my grandpa, had graduate degrees. He worked a lot of odd jobs to pay for his classes. He was also a Methodist minister. From everything my mom told me, despite this, he was down to earth. (I see that my mom was like her dad, not her mom.) He died when their kids were teens, and soon after, Grandma began teaching high school Latin and AP English. She once had my dad in a summer school class. He said they clashed big time. Knowing that he hated English class only a little less than people that put on airs, I imagine it didn't go well. 

Later, when my mom fell for him, my grandmother tried to stop them from dating. She looked down on him because neither of his parents had graduated high school. She made sure all 3 of her kids went to college. My mom didn't want to go, but was forced... a complete waste of money since she fought it. While the others told jokes in Latin, she dreamed of being a wife and mother. During the "women's lib" days of the 60s and beyond, while other women were knocking on glass ceilings and breaking barriers, my mom was the rebel of the family. Unlike everyone in her family, she quit college to marry and be a stay at home mom, and loved it. My grandmother considered her a failure. I knew better.

Earlier today, I happened to come across an online listing for my grandmother's master's thesis, "Shakespeare and the Pastoral Tradition." It sounds like something she'd write. it got me to thinking about her. Even though I was probably the closest grandchild, the one that she talked to the most, I still was always aware of a rigidness about her. I think she was showing love in her own way, especially when we cooked together and she told me about the family history. but with every conversation, there was a lesson. She inserted subtle reminders of the importance of appearance, of making the right connections, and doing the proper things in every setting. There was never the pure joy I share with my own grandchildren.  She was a little more relaxed with her great-grandchildren, but it was still more of an observation relationship than an involved one.

But then, as now, I marveled at the barriers she broke through. She was disappointed in me for going to a state college, even though she was glad I did go. I think it relieved her when I went to graduate school. Even though I'd planned to do so since age 6, she tried to get me to consider something other than teaching. She said, "In my day, teaching is one of the few things women could do. You can do anything you want - go for it." Just as my mom disappointed her by choosing a "career" in motherhood, I "settled" by becoming a teacher. I told her i knew I could do anything - but teaching was what I wanted to do. it was the right choice. I hope she figured that out.

My Coat and I

Is it possible to have a relationship with a coat? Apparently, yes.


Right before Christmas 1986, we were at the mall shopping. The only reason I remember the year is that I was pregnant with my daughter and we were shopping for a maternity dress. At the shop next to it, I saw a coat in the window and mentioned it. I knew I'd never have it, didn't even expect to try it on, because it just wasn't at all practical, wasn't in the budget, and my coat would do.

Keith said, "Well, you do need a winter coat. Why don't you check it out?" I went in the store, not to look at that coat, but to see what they had that made sense. The coat in the window? It was velvet... no tossing it in the washer, so definitely not practical. The black velvet had subtle patches of paisley-ish pattern with shades of purples and mauve on the yoke. It was much more expensive than I'd ever pay. No hood either... definitely not a "mom coat," which at once was a detriment and thrilling.

While I'd never have even tried it on myself, Keith had me try it on anyway. I loved it and he gave it to me for Christmas. I've long since forgotten the cost, but guess it was worth it, since I wore it over 25 years. True, the past few years it was getting worn, but didn't see anything I liked better. For at least 10 years I've known it was getting worn - first the fabric worn by the seatbelt, then noticed the elbows getting thin. Yes, I kept an eye out for a new coat, but never saw one that charmed me the way this coat did, so I never seriously looked. I knew what I wanted... something stylish, a pretty color, warm... every once in a while I'd see someone wearing an attractive coat my size but I couldn't find coats when I shopped online. Two years ago, the coat actually should've been declared "done," but why spend money for a good coat if you thought it'd just be used the one winter? (that's a whole other issue)

But this past winter, the non-stop, bitter to the bone cold winter, my coat died. It gave it the best it could, but one day in early March, it ripped.  Not a little tear I can repair, but the worn fabric on the side of the coat just gave way.  I no longer own a winter coat.

Today I did my first search for a new coat...  something with a shape... perhaps in at the waist... or stitching.. a pretty color such as teal, purple, or red... maybe wool? with a hood? (I don't like wearing hats, but did this year because it was so cold)  Then there was a thought that actually made me laugh out loud. I thought, "I want a coat that Kate Middleton would wear."  Sure... that's easy. My goal is to match a member of England's Royal Family with an endless budget, tailors on standby, and a small size to boot. Sure, no problem... LOL  But you get the idea... it needs to be stylish but classy.  Unfortunately, nothing today. I don't expect this to be an easy search, and am not even guaranteed success.  But this new coat was big shoes to fill - it'll take a lot to replace my old one.

What Kind of Christian are You???

I remember when the word "Christian" meant "follower of Christ" and Christians cared for the sick, the poor, refugees, and showed love for all mankind. Oh, wait... it still does!  But now the term has been twisted by right-wing extremists so that it seems to mean, "self-serving haters of the down-trodden, sick, poor, or any other race." It's to the point one must ask, "What kind of Christian are you?"

Don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting that Christians live on some type of moral high-ground, doing all the good in the world. Not at all. Sure, there are countless examples of people, even whole congregations, doing wonderful things in the name of Jesus, sharing His love and example by building homes, buying coats for cold people, and sharing food. But you don't have to be Christian to do this... you just have to be a good person and love others. Tons of people do the same things every day without a thought towards Jesus or any type of religion at all. It's just what caring people do.

In this case, how did these things become associated with being Christian? Or, just as important, why would it be a problem if these things were NOT done? Yes, there are poor people. Always have been, always will be. Sure, there are sick people. Tough luck. No reason to go out of your way to change that, right? Besides, some of "them" aren't like "us" and so it really doesn't make sense to help them out, right? Matter of fact, it doesn't make sense to waste valuable tax money on educating poor people, or helping them have a place to live, or food to eat.. it's not like they'll go away if we do. There will just be more poor people to take their place. No, much smarter to use this money to help out your friends and take lavish trips.  

But that's NOT right. How do I know? Because Jesus said, "When I was hungry, you gave me something to eat, and when I was thirsty, you gave me something to drink. When I was a stranger, you welcomed me, and when I was naked, you gave me clothes to wear. When I was sick, you took care of me, and when I was in jail, you visited me."  The good people around him asked, "When did we do that?" He answered, "Whenever you did it for others no matter how unimportant they seemed, you did it for me."  (Matthew 25:35-40)

There are folks running around, spouting off about being Christian, but they hate others. "Love your neighbor" only counts if they happen to love their neighbor, and it doesn't extend to strangers that can't help them at all. The reason for reminding others they're Christian is for selfish reasons at times, but nonetheless, this is their claim. It might be good for their business and sure helps for political reasons. 

But there's a reason they feel the need to say it so much... because you wouldn't know otherwise.   Showing hatred towards others is not Christ-like.  Taking away needed services such as education and food are not Christ-like. Screaming hateful things towards others is not Christ-like. Where is the compassion? the mercy? the generosity? the love?  

This is an extremely distressing situation to me.. I'm not used to feeling ashamed of people that claim to represent my faith. it angers me to be in this position, which in turn bothers me for feeling anger towards them.  All I know is what Jesus taught, and showed by example. I'm far from perfect, but it doesn't stop me from trying to live by His example.

"Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they?" (Matthew 7:15-16)  The fruits of the spirit (of God) are love, joy, peace, longsuffering (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, and self-control.  Considering we are all known by our fruits (our results), some of these fruits are missing in action.  

Non-Christians see those that call themselves Christians protest funerals, scream hateful things at refugee children, and use their clout to cut back Headstart programs, benefits for Veterans, and food stamps. They see them refuse to treat those of different races fairly, and deny people's rights if they disagree with them.  Is it any wonder some non-Christians think Christians are mean hypocrites?

It isn't that "Christians" are like this, but that those false Christians are not following Christ, and therefore, are not Christians, despite whatever label they claim.  

So The Moon Isn't Made of Cheese After All...

Reflections on the Moonwalk

It certainly doesn't seem that long, but it's been 45 years since man walked on the moon. Among all the random memories of my childhood, this day is one of the ones that stands out to me.  When I hear the phrase, "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," or hear someone mention the moonwalk, it's as if it all comes to me, in a chunk of memories, even though as an adult, I realize they aren't all related. Yet, they ARE related because in my mind, my brain put them all in a file called, "Day of Moonwalk." Apparently, it's all or none with me. (I tend to get the big picture and "know" the fragments intuitively when writing books as well.)

As odd as it seems, I suppose that half of the people alive today, everyone under the age of 45, were born after the moonwalk - it's a historic event that happened before they were born, lumped in with ancient pyramids, medieval castles, the Pilgrims, and world wars.  "Modern folks" don't realize just how scary this was... we didn't know if they'd make it back alive, and if it'd change them physically in some way. (yes, it was a real concern!) This moon-walking thing was a really BIG deal!    Being in mid-July, this was most likely pretty much about all that was going on. We were in the middle of summer break and in Tennessee, this meant it was hot and humid... with few air conditioned places available.

I was 11 years old, just old enough to understand what was going on.  Days earlier, we watched the rocket lift off that would carry men to the moon.. yes, the moon... what a fascinating thought. In the days between launch and touch-down, television stations explained the science behind the mission. But the part that touched me was the humanness behind the story. The astronauts had families, kids my age, that might never see them again. I wasn't the only one to fear they'd crash when they landed on the moon, or miss the pick-up connection, or who knows what? Two landed on the moon, and one circled around in order to pick them up for the return home. One of my memories of that time was my sadness for him - taking the chances but not getting to walk on the moon. I felt sorry for him.

Finally "the day" arrived - they'd be actually stepping out on the moon "in the middle of the night" or so I thought... Years later I looked it up and discovered it was just about midnight Central time. Completely unrelated to the moonwalk in any way that I'm aware, we went shopping earlier in the day. it was such a special trip - to Kmart.  (Yes, indeed, a sheltered life since that was exciting! But back then, people didn't shop as often as we do know and there were fewer places to go.)  I vaguely remember that we bought quite a few things, but I only remember two things, and think of them when I think of the moonwalk.

Although it may have been available before, we bought a "new" rose called Peace that day. I remember thinking that it was such a wonderful name, one that matched it's delicate yellow and pink colors. (Read it's fascinating history at the link below.)  It's still a favorite of mine today, one I've purchased many times since. The special purchase that day was a color TV, our very first one. (Many shows were still black and white)  My guess is that perhaps my parents had recently received their tax refund or some lump amount of money because expensive shopping trips were definitely not the norm.  It was so exciting.

We were sent to bed early, but told they'd get us up when it was time. I was so worried for the astronauts that I had trouble falling asleep.  When we got up, that was the topic on TV of course. Walter Cronkite was our guide to all things historic back then and this was no exception.

it was quite ironic that we had a new color TV, as we used it to watch the fuzzy black and white video of men wearing white on a gray moon. It seemed an engineering marvel that we were able to actually see this video... and I suppose it was.  Even though I was still a child, I remember them planting the American flag on the moon.  "One small step for mankind. One giant leap for mankind." Oh, the possibilities...

One of the things that really interested me was the scope of the coverage and interest, from small towns across the country to big cities around the world - this was a worldwide event. After the moonwalk coverage, my younger sisters went back to bed - of their own choosing. But I begged to stay up to see more. They showed people all over the world gathered around a TV to see it. I remember seeing coverage of a lot of people on the sidewalk gathered around a shop window in some faraway country with this report on it. At another place, it was an interview with someone at the Royal Palace in London - how that touched my fancy! The reporters were in faraway places like Japan, Brazil, even Africa!

After the moonwalk, they had to be picked up for the trip home. That was a delicate undertaking, but obviously, one they accomplished. In the days that followed, there was TV coverage about the families waiting at home. No one knew what would happen to those that had been on the moon. Would they have some terrible germs? Once they arrived, they were quarantined for quite a while, just in case.

In terms of space travel, we've come a long way, reaching far, far out into the universe. We're unlocked mysteries and created new wonderings.  There's even an International Space Station, manned by people from around the world. But for all that, I'm not sure that we've really done things much more amazing than that trip to the moon so long ago.   It's hard to believe it's been that long.

Do you remember the moonwalk? what are your memories?


The History of the Rose called "Peace" 

Our Lives are like... the Weather???

A Moment of Insight at the Red Light

This summer has been a roller coaster at times. Rather than the “Get hot and stay there” of some years, we’ve had warm days, cooler days, hot days, back and forth. After a too-cold-for-too-long-without-a-break winter, I think people are reluctant to complain as it hasn’t been terrible, and if it’s hot, there are cooler days in the forecast, so lots of breaks. 

Until today…..  it’s been hot for days, but “TOO HOT” today. The weather outside is so oppressively hot and humid that the weatherman called it steamy.   Currently, it’s 96 degrees, hot even for us, with high humidity… don’t even want to know the heat index as I know it’s well over 100. (Our average high for this date is 88.)  But we’re saved from sheer torment by the constant breeze. It’s a brisk breeze, the kind you have at the beach, but breeze or not, the air is just plain hot. 

As often happens in the summer, the increasing humidity will build up until the air finally says, “Okay, I’ve had it. Take this!” and with a rumble of thunder, it begins to rain. Forecasters are calling for pretty bad storms with hail, gusty winds, lightning, and rain… lots of rain.  In the next day or so, we’re expecting about 2” of rain – just what the gardens need.

But afterwards? Business as usual? Nope. We’re being treated to unseasonably cool weather for days. They’re calling for HIGHS in the 70s for a few days beginning Tuesday! Oh, the joy!  

Sitting at a red light about an hour ago, I watched what appeared to be waves of heat rising from the asphalt. (There’s a scientific explanation about this mirage but it’s been decades since I sat in science class, and chances are, didn’t understand it at the time anyway.) All I know is that until I take some time off to get my air conditioner serviced, I must drive with the windows down and it’s really hot when the car isn’t moving. 

 As I waited, the hot air stifling me, I thought of the forecast and suddenly realized it’s like our life journeys, all in a weather forecast! We just go along from day to day, noting the ups and downs, good days and bad, but not getting too bent out of shape over it.   Just as today’s heat is a hardship for some and annoying for many, it represents the hardships and bad times in life.  It could be something physical we deal with, or stress at work or with the family, but there are times when we struggle.  Some struggles are outwardly visible, like a job loss, or a medical diagnosis. Other struggles may be fought silently, with mental stress and uncertainty, perhaps even wrestling with our faith. Just as in a storm, we are rarely alone, even if it seems that way. God is there... always.

Then, as tears pour out, literally or figuratively, we are soaked. Afterwards, we could be drained or exhilarated, but not left untouched.  Then, the heat is gone… life calms down, and there’s a period of better times ahead. Problems aren’t gone, but under control.  The roller coaster ride of the weather forecast is like our lives, up and down, swaying a little from side to side, scary at times, and thrilling at others. 

So that was my insight. The light turned green and I continued my journey… but I may never look at a weather forecast in quite the same way again.

#10 Happy New Year

Ten Tips for the New Year.. and the Rest of Your Life

As the new year approaches, we often think back on the year we’re finishing, and at the same time, consider the year ahead. This mood of reflection started my thinking along those lines, but my thoughts went off on a tangent and I began to consider instead, how to best live this new year before me. It is my offering, such as it is, of advice for life. These are things I’ve figured out, even if I am still working on how to apply them to my own life.


Here's the final tip:

#10 HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR.

I know, it won't be all sweetness and roses... and if you're diabetic and allergic to flowers, that's a good thing. But it won't be all bad either. 

Sometimes we have a tendency to expect the new year to miraculously transform life and remove all negatives. If they are still here, how is it a happy new year? Perhaps it is time to spend a moment reflecting on those negatives, to make sure they aren't self-inflicted. Change what you can, accept what you can't, and move on.

Above all, celebrate the good moments, treasure the memories of a lifetime, and get past the negatives as quickly as possible. Have a HAPPY new year... accept nothing less.

In case you missed the rest:

#1 HONOR YOUR HERITAGE.

If you don’t know the traditions of your ancestors, perhaps this is the year you should research and discover them This might be the year you begin researching your family tree and see what you find out. My son-in-law is Filipino, a group I had only limited exposure to until I met him. I have encouraged my daughter to make sure their sons learn about that culture as well as hers. From their Lola (grandma) they are learning many traditions. They attend weddings, feasts, and other events of a rich culture. They’re learning about the traditional foods, language, dances, and clothing. Your heritage is a part of you. Some ignore this, seeking instead to blend into a melting pot of sameness. Perhaps you don’t have any reason to make it a part of your daily life, but if nothing else, it can be fun to discover traditions and holidays your ancestors followed.


#2 RESPECT YOUR RITUALS AND CUSTOMS.

Without even realizing it, our past is a part of the future. These are the rocks your foundation is built upon. Take time to keep the parts that are important to you, that you feel is true. It is in this repetition of rituals that teaching the following generation takes place. As you participate, you take it in and you understand meanings and apply them to our own life. While I didn’t grasp the depth until I considered it, this was why I was so touched when I learned that my 4 year old grandson, Noah, would be a shepherd at Christmas. He had heard the Nativity Story, yet did not fully understand it. But like all of the prior generations of “shepherds” before him, he was now a part of the tradition, a tradition that had potential to become a source of richness and internal peace. It is a reassurance of sorts, that despite the craziness of the world and the new inventions, some things will continue to be important.


#3 HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR FAITH.
To most of us, our faith journey is a constant work in progress. But, without convictions of belief, what serves as the compass? Without some internal principle, we are left to twist in the wind. My faith in God gives me the assurance of constant presence, shown not only to those in history, but in my own life. Most importantly, there is the internal peace I can’t find elsewhere.


#4 FORGIVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS.
We mess up. Things don’t go the way we wish, sometimes due to our own negligence. Others make mistakes and disappoint us. Dwelling on these things can tear one apart and cause us to be frozen and unable to move past the situation. It can create a desperation in our own thought process and cause resentment from others. Holding resentment and grudges for things others have done to us does nothing more than make us miserable. There is nothing we can do other than move forward. Hopefully, lessons were learned and mistakes won’t be repeated, but either way, we can’t go back and undo the past.


#5 ADMIRE YOUR STRENGTHS.
Yes, you do too have some! Perhaps you should make yourself a list of at least five things that you do well. No one said they had to be the best in the world, but be YOUR strengths. Once you do, who knows? Perhaps you’ll keep them in mind when considering how to best tackle tough situations in the future.

#6 SEEK OUT THE POSITIVE.
Surround yourself with the people that bring you up, not drag you down. Notice the pretty sunsets and admire the good job someone did on something. Be glad when something you want goes on sale… or at least, doesn’t increase in price. CHOOSE to be happy.

#7 TRY AGAIN.

So it didn’t go as planned, or you didn’t compete the task you set out to do. Is your life over? No, so there’s still time. Perhaps you were approaching it in the wrong way. Maybe you needed more time. Could it be that only parts of the task can be accomplished at once? Fortunately, we aren't judged only by our accomplishments, but our efforts. Sometimes we think we've failed, but it wasn't the task we failed at but thinking we were done.  The task may actually be a work in progress. Be sure that you realize this, so that you know it's okay to keep working on it. Analyze the situation. Consider the options available to you now and in the future. Make a plan. Prioritize the steps. Move forward. Accept the results, either temporarily or for good.

#8 CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE.

Barring something I don’t know about, it’s the only one you get here on earth. If your life is drowning in the mundane, don’t focus on that part. Instead, focus on the other parts – those quick moments outside the drudgery. Congratulate yourself on the small victories, whether it was cleaning up and organizing a closet, serving a nice meal, making the dog’s day by playing ball, or finding something you lost. Perhaps it is what you didn’t do that is worth celebrating. You did not complain to the person that made a mess of the sandwich you ordered, you didn’t do what you wanted to do, but helped someone else instead, or maybe it was driving past the doughnut shop without stopping.

#9 LIVE NOW.
This is one I often struggle to follow, but am learning that it is necessary. In many ways, I think my best successes were in my past and I have less to offer now. But that time is gone and to dwell on it, makes the rest of my life meaningless. Sometimes we didn’t do things the best way in the past. Let it go. As an optimist, I generally feel that things will work out later. I’m always sure that somehow, things will be better than now. But to sit around and wait for the better days might prevent me from doing the very things that will make them this way. Above all, it robs me of today. The present is all we really have. Don’t waste time by dreaming of the past or future, but focusing on and enjoying today. Figure out what you have to offer now and make sure to do so.

#9 Live NOW

Ten Tips for the New Year.. and the Rest of Your Life

As the new year approaches, we often think back on the year we’re finishing, and at the same time, consider the year ahead. This mood of reflection started my thinking along those lines, but my thoughts went off on a tangent and I began to consider instead, how to best live this new year before me. It is my offering, such as it is, of advice for life. These are things I’ve figured out, even if I am still working on how to apply them to my own life.


Here's the ninth tip:

#9 Live NOW.

This is one I often struggle to follow, but am learning that it is necessary. In many ways, in terms of being productive and making a contribution, I think my best successes were in my past and I have less to offer now. But that time is gone and to dwell on it, makes the rest of my life meaningless.

Sometimes we didn’t do things the best way in the past. Let it go. As an optimist, I generally feel that things will work out later. I’m always sure that somehow, things will be better than now. But to sit around and wait for the better days might prevent me from doing the very things that will make them this way.

Above all, it robs me of today. The present is all we really have. Don’t waste time by dreaming of the past or future, but focusing on and enjoying today. Figure out what you have to offer now and make sure to do so.


In case you missed the rest:

#1 HONOR YOUR HERITAGE.

If you don’t know the traditions of your ancestors, perhaps this is the year you should research and discover them This might be the year you begin researching your family tree and see what you find out. My son-in-law is Filipino, a group I had only limited exposure to until I met him. I have encouraged my daughter to make sure their sons learn about that culture as well as hers. From their Lola (grandma) they are learning many traditions. They attend weddings, feasts, and other events of a rich culture. They’re learning about the traditional foods, language, dances, and clothing. Your heritage is a part of you. Some ignore this, seeking instead to blend into a melting pot of sameness. Perhaps you don’t have any reason to make it a part of your daily life, but if nothing else, it can be fun to discover traditions and holidays your ancestors followed.


#2 RESPECT YOUR RITUALS AND CUSTOMS. 

Without even realizing it, our past is a part of the future. These are the rocks your foundation is built upon. Take time to keep the parts that are important to you, that you feel is true. It is in this repetition of rituals that teaching the following generation takes place. As you participate, you take it in and you understand meanings and apply them to our own life. While I didn’t grasp the depth until I considered it, this was why I was so touched when I learned that my 4 year old grandson, Noah, would be a shepherd at Christmas. He had heard the Nativity Story, yet did not fully understand it. But like all of the prior generations of “shepherds” before him, he was now a part of the tradition, a tradition that had potential to become a source of richness and internal peace. It is a reassurance of sorts, that despite the craziness of the world and the new inventions, some things will continue to be important.


#3 HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR FAITH.

To most of us, our faith journey is a constant work in progress. But, without convictions of belief, what serves as the compass? Without some internal principle, we are left to twist in the wind. My faith in God gives me the assurance of constant presence, shown not only to those in history, but in my own life. Most importantly, there is the internal peace I can’t find elsewhere.


#4 FORGIVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS.

We mess up. Things don’t go the way we wish, sometimes due to our own negligence. Others make mistakes and disappoint us. Dwelling on these things can tear one apart and cause us to be frozen and unable to move past the situation. It can create a desperation in our own thought process and cause resentment and from others. Holding resentment and grudges for things others have done to us does nothing more than make us miserable. There is nothing we can do other than move forward. Hopefully, lessons were learned and mistakes won’t be repeated, but either way, we can’t go back and undo the past.


#5 ADMIRE YOUR STRENGTHS.

Yes, you do too have some! Perhaps you should make yourself a list of at least five things that you do well. No one said they had to be the best in the world, but be YOUR strengths. Once you do, who knows? Perhaps you’ll keep them in mind when considering how to best tackle tough situations in the future.


#6 SEEK OUT THE POSITIVE.

Surround yourself with the people that bring you up, not drag you down. Notice the pretty sunsets and admire the good job someone did on something. Be glad when something you want goes on sale… or at least, doesn’t increase in price. CHOOSE to be happy.


#7 TRY AGAIN.

So it didn’t go as planned, or you didn’t compete the task you set out to do. Is your life over? No, so there’s still time. Perhaps you were approaching it in the wrong way. Maybe you needed more time. Could it be that only parts of the task can be accomplished at once? Analyze the situation. Consider the options available to you now and in the future. Make a plan. Prioritize the steps. Move forward. Accept the results, either temporarily or for good.


#8 CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE.

Barring something I don’t know about, it’s the only one you get here on earth. If your life is drowning in the mundane, don’t focus on that part. Instead, focus on the other parts – those quick moments outside the drudgery. Congratulate yourself on the small victories, whether it was cleaning up and organizing a closet, serving a nice meal, making the dog’s day by playing ball, or finding something you lost. Perhaps it is what you didn’t do that is worth celebrating. You did not complain to the person that made a mess of the sandwich you ordered, you didn’t do what you wanted to do, but helped someone else instead, or maybe it was driving past the doughnut shop without stopping.

#8 Celebrate Your Life

Ten Tips for the New Year.. and the Rest of Your Life

As the new year approaches, we often think back on the year we’re finishing, and at the same time, consider the year ahead. This mood of reflection started my thinking along those lines, but my thoughts went off on a tangent and I began to consider instead, how to best live this new year before me. It is my offering, such as it is, of advice for life. These are things I’ve figured out, even if I am still working on how to apply them to my own life.

Here's the eighth tip:

#8 Celebrate Your Life

Barring something I don’t know about, it’s the only one you get here on earth. If your life is drowning in the mundane, don’t focus on that part. Instead, focus on the other parts – those quick moments outside the drudgery.

Congratulate yourself on the small victories, whether it was cleaning up and organizing a closet, serving a nice meal, making the dog’s day by playing ball, or finding something you lost.

Perhaps it is what you didn’t do that is worth celebrating. You did not complain to the person that made a mess of the sandwich you ordered, you didn’t do what you wanted to do, but helped someone else instead, or maybe it was driving past the doughnut shop without stopping.

Put on your virtual party hat and celebrate your life.


In case you missed the rest:

#1 HONOR YOUR HERITAGE. 

If you don’t know the traditions of your ancestors, perhaps this is the year you should research and discover them This might be the year you begin researching your family tree and see what you find out. My son-in-law is Filipino, a group I had only limited exposure to until I met him. I have encouraged my daughter to make sure their sons learn about that culture as well as hers. From their Lola (grandma) they are learning many traditions. They attend weddings, feasts, and other events of a rich culture. They’re learning about the traditional foods, language, dances, and clothing. Your heritage is a part of you. Some ignore this, seeking instead to blend into a melting pot of sameness. Perhaps you don’t have any reason to make it a part of your daily life, but if nothing else, it can be fun to discover traditions and holidays your ancestors followed.


#2 RESPECT YOUR RITUALS AND CUSTOMS. 

Without even realizing it, our past is a part of the future. These are the rocks your foundation is built upon. Take time to keep the parts that are important to you, that you feel is true. It is in this repetition of rituals that teaching the following generation takes place. As you participate, you take it in and you understand meanings and apply them to our own life. While I didn’t grasp the depth until I considered it, this was why I was so touched when I learned that my 4 year old grandson, Noah, would be a shepherd at Christmas. He had heard the Nativity Story, yet did not fully understand it. But like all of the prior generations of “shepherds” before him, he was now a part of the tradition, a tradition that had potential to become a source of richness and internal peace. It is a reassurance of sorts, that despite the craziness of the world and the new inventions, some things will continue to be important.


#3 HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR FAITH.

To most of us, our faith journey is a constant work in progress. But, without convictions of belief, what serves as the compass? Without some internal principle, we are left to twist in the wind. My faith in God gives me the assurance of constant presence, shown not only to those in history, but in my own life. Most importantly, there is the internal peace I can’t find elsewhere.


#4 FORGIVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS. 

We mess up. Things don’t go the way we wish, sometimes due to our own negligence. Others make mistakes and disappoint us. Dwelling on these things can tear one apart and cause us to be frozen and unable to move past the situation. It can create a desperation in our own thought process and cause resentment and from others. Holding resentment and grudges for things others have done to us does nothing more than make us miserable. There is nothing we can do other than move forward. Hopefully, lessons were learned and mistakes won’t be repeated, but either way, we can’t go back and undo the past.


#5 ADMIRE YOUR STRENGTHS. 

 Yes, you do too have some! Perhaps you should make yourself a list of at least five things that you do well. No one said they had to be the best in the world, but be YOUR strengths. Once you do, who knows? Perhaps you’ll keep them in mind when considering how to best tackle tough situations in the future.


#6 SEEK OUT THE POSITIVE. 

 Surround yourself with the people that bring you up, not drag you down. Notice the pretty sunsets and admire the good job someone did on something. Be glad when something you want goes on sale… or at least, doesn’t increase in price. CHOOSE to be happy.


#7 TRY AGAIN. 

So it didn’t go as planned, or you didn’t compete the task you set out to do. Is your life over? No, so there’s still time. Perhaps you were approaching it in the wrong way. Maybe you needed more time. Could it be that only parts of the task can be accomplished at once? Analyze the situation. Consider the options available to you now and in the future. Make a plan. Prioritize the steps. Move forward. Accept the results, either temporarily or for good.

#7 Try Again

Ten Tips for the New Year.. and the Rest of Your Life

As the new year approaches, we often think back on the year we’re finishing, and at the same time, consider the year ahead. This mood of reflection started my thinking along those lines, but my thoughts went off on a tangent and I began to consider instead, how to best live this new year before me. It is my offering, such as it is, of advice for life. These are things I’ve figured out, even if I am still working on how to apply them to my own life.

Here's the seventh tip:

#7 Try Again

So it didn’t go as planned, or you didn’t compete the task you set out to do. Is your life over? No, so there’s still time. 

Perhaps you were approaching it in the wrong way. Maybe you needed more time. Could it be that only parts of the task can be accomplished at once? 

Fortunately, we aren't judged only by our accomplishments, but our efforts. Sometimes we think we've failed, but it wasn't the task we failed at but thinking we were done.  The task may actually be a work in progress. Be sure that you realize this, so that you know it's okay to keep working on it.

Analyze the situation. Consider the options available to you now and in the future. Make a plan. Prioritize the steps. Move forward. Accept the results, either temporarily or for good.

In case you missed the rest:


#1 HONOR YOUR HERITAGE.

If you don’t know the traditions of your ancestors, perhaps this is the year you should research and discover them This might be the year you begin researching your family tree and see what you find out. My son-in-law is Filipino, a group I had only limited exposure to until I met him. I have encouraged my daughter to make sure their sons learn about that culture as well as hers. From their Lola (grandma) they are learning many traditions. They attend weddings, feasts, and other events of a rich culture. They’re learning about the traditional foods, language, dances, and clothing. Your heritage is a part of you. Some ignore this, seeking instead to blend into a melting pot of sameness. Perhaps you don’t have any reason to make it a part of your daily life, but if nothing else, it can be fun to discover traditions and holidays your ancestors followed.


#2 RESPECT YOUR RITUALS AND CUSTOMS. 

Without even realizing it, our past is a part of the future. These are the rocks your foundation is built upon. Take time to keep the parts that are important to you, that you feel is true. It is in this repetition of rituals that teaching the following generation takes place. As you participate, you take it in and you understand meanings and apply them to our own life. While I didn’t grasp the depth until I considered it, this was why I was so touched when I learned that my 4 year old grandson, Noah, would be a shepherd at Christmas. He had heard the Nativity Story, yet did not fully understand it. But like all of the prior generations of “shepherds” before him, he was now a part of the tradition, a tradition that had potential to become a source of richness and internal peace. It is a reassurance of sorts, that despite the craziness of the world and the new inventions, some things will continue to be important.


#3 HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR FAITH. 

To most of us, our faith journey is a constant work in progress. But, without convictions of belief, what serves as the compass? Without some internal principle, we are left to twist in the wind. My faith in God gives me the assurance of constant presence, shown not only to those in history, but in my own life. Most importantly, there is the internal peace I can’t find elsewhere.


#4 FORGIVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS. 

We mess up. Things don’t go the way we wish, sometimes due to our own negligence. Others make mistakes and disappoint us. Dwelling on these things can tear one apart and cause us to be frozen and unable to move past the situation. It can create a desperation in our own thought process and cause resentment and from others. Holding resentment and grudges for things others have done to us does nothing more than make us miserable. There is nothing we can do other than move forward. Hopefully, lessons were learned and mistakes won’t be repeated, but either way, we can’t go back and undo the past.


#5 ADMIRE YOUR STRENGTHS.

 Yes, you do too have some! Perhaps you should make yourself a list of at least five things that you do well. No one said they had to be the best in the world, but be YOUR strengths. Once you do, who knows? Perhaps you’ll keep them in mind when considering how to best tackle tough situations in the future.


#6 SEEK OUT THE POSITIVE. 

 Surround yourself with the people that bring you up, not drag you down. Notice the pretty sunsets and admire the good job someone did on something. Be glad when something you want goes on sale… or at least, doesn’t increase in price. CHOOSE to be happy.

#6 Seek Out the Positive

Ten Tips for the New Year.. and the Rest of Your Life

As the new year approaches, we often think back on the year we’re finishing, and at the same time, consider the year ahead. This mood of reflection started my thinking along those lines, but my thoughts went off on a tangent and I began to consider instead, how to best live this new year before me. It is my offering, such as it is, of advice for life. These are things I’ve figured out, even if I am still working on how to apply them to my own life.

Here's the sixth tip:

#6 Seek Out the Positive

Surround yourself with the people that bring you up, not drag you down. Notice the pretty sunsets and admire the good job someone did on something. Be glad when something you want goes on sale… or at least, doesn’t increase in price. CHOOSE to be happy.


In case you missed the first five:


#1 HONOR YOUR HERITAGE.

If you don’t know the traditions of your ancestors, perhaps this is the year you should research and discover them This might be the year you begin researching your family tree and see what you find out. My son-in-law is Filipino, a group I had only limited exposure to until I met him. I have encouraged my daughter to make sure their sons learn about that culture as well as hers. From their Lola (grandma) they are learning many traditions. They attend weddings, feasts, and other events of a rich culture. They’re learning about the traditional foods, language, dances, and clothing. Your heritage is a part of you. Some ignore this, seeking instead to blend into a melting pot of sameness. Perhaps you don’t have any reason to make it a part of your daily life, but if nothing else, it can be fun to discover traditions and holidays your ancestors followed.


#2 RESPECT YOUR RITUALS AND CUSTOMS. 

Without even realizing it, our past is a part of the future. These are the rocks your foundation is built upon. Take time to keep the parts that are important to you, that you feel is true. It is in this repetition of rituals that teaching the following generation takes place. As you participate, you take it in and you understand meanings and apply them to our own life. While I didn’t grasp the depth until I considered it, this was why I was so touched when I learned that my 4 year old grandson, Noah, would be a shepherd at Christmas. He had heard the Nativity Story, yet did not fully understand it. But like all of the prior generations of “shepherds” before him, he was now a part of the tradition, a tradition that had potential to become a source of richness and internal peace. It is a reassurance of sorts, that despite the craziness of the world and the new inventions, some things will continue to be important.


#3 HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR FAITH.

To most of us, our faith journey is a constant work in progress. But, without convictions of belief, what serves as the compass? Without some internal principle, we are left to twist in the wind. My faith in God gives me the assurance of constant presence, shown not only to those in history, but in my own life. Most importantly, there is the internal peace I can’t find elsewhere.


#4 FORGIVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS. 

We mess up. Things don’t go the way we wish, sometimes due to our own negligence. Others make mistakes and disappoint us. Dwelling on these things can tear one apart and cause us to be frozen and unable to move past the situation. It can create a desperation in our own thought process and cause resentment and from others. Holding resentment and grudges for things others have done to us does nothing more than make us miserable. There is nothing we can do other than move forward. Hopefully, lessons were learned and mistakes won’t be repeated, but either way, we can’t go back and undo the past.


#5 ADMIRE YOUR STRENGTHS. 

 Yes, you do too have some! Perhaps you should make yourself a list of at least five things that you do well. No one said they had to be the best in the world, but be YOUR strengths. Once you do, who knows? Perhaps you’ll keep them in mind when considering how to best tackle tough situations in the future.

#5 Admire Your Strengths

10 Tips for the New Year... and the Rest of Your Life

As the new year approaches, we often think back on the year we’re finishing, and at the same time, consider the year ahead. This mood of reflection started my thinking along those lines, but my thoughts went off on a tangent and I began to consider instead, how to best live this new year before me. It is my offering, such as it is, of advice for life. These are things I’ve figured out, even if I am still working on how to apply them to my own life.


Here's the fifth tip:

#5 Admire Your Strengths

Yes, you do too have some! Perhaps you should make yourself a list of at least five things that you do well. No one said they had to be the best in the world, but be YOUR strengths. Once you do, who knows? Perhaps you’ll keep them in mind when considering how to best tackle tough situations in the future.


In case you missed the first four:

#1 HONOR YOUR HERITAGE.

If you don’t know the traditions of your ancestors, perhaps this is the year you should research and discover them This might be the year you begin researching your family tree and see what you find out. My son-in-law is Filipino, a group I had only limited exposure to until I met him. I have encouraged my daughter to make sure their sons learn about that culture as well as hers. From their Lola (grandma) they are learning many traditions. They attend weddings, feasts, and other events of a rich culture. They’re learning about the traditional foods, language, dances, and clothing. Your heritage is a part of you. Some ignore this, seeking instead to blend into a melting pot of sameness. Perhaps you don’t have any reason to make it a part of your daily life, but if nothing else, it can be fun to discover traditions and holidays your ancestors followed.


#2 RESPECT YOUR RITUALS AND CUSTOMS.

Without even realizing it, our past is a part of the future. These are the rocks your foundation is built upon. Take time to keep the parts that are important to you, that you feel is true. It is in this repetition of rituals that teaching the following generation takes place. As you participate, you take it in and you understand meanings and apply them to our own life. While I didn’t grasp the depth until I considered it, this was why I was so touched when I learned that my 4 year old grandson, Noah, would be a shepherd at Christmas. He had heard the Nativity Story, yet did not fully understand it. But like all of the prior generations of “shepherds” before him, he was now a part of the tradition, a tradition that had potential to become a source of richness and internal peace. It is a reassurance of sorts, that despite the craziness of the world and the new inventions, some things will continue to be important.


#3 HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR FAITH.

To most of us, our faith journey is a constant work in progress. But, without convictions of belief, what serves as the compass? Without some internal principle, we are left to twist in the wind. My faith in God gives me the assurance of constant presence, shown not only to those in history, but in my own life. Most importantly, there is the internal peace I can’t find elsewhere.

#4 FORGIVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS.

We mess up. Things don’t go the way we wish, sometimes due to our own negligence. Others make mistakes and disappoint us. Dwelling on these things can tear one apart and cause us to be frozen and unable to move past the situation. It can create a desperation in our own thought process and cause resentment and from others. Holding resentment and grudges for things others have done to us does nothing more than make us miserable. There is nothing we can do other than move forward. Hopefully, lessons were learned and mistakes won’t be repeated, but either way, we can’t go back and undo the past.

#4 Forgive Yourself and Others

10 Tips for the New Year... and the Rest of Your Life

As the new year approaches, we often think back on the year we’re finishing, and at the same time, consider the year ahead. This mood of reflection started my thinking along those lines, but my thoughts went off on a tangent and I began to consider instead, how to best live this new year before me. It is my offering, such as it is, of advice for life. These are things I’ve figured out, even if I am still working on how to apply them to my own life.


Here's the fourth tip:

#4 Forgive Yourself and Others

We mess up. Things don’t go the way we wish, sometimes due to our own negligence. Others make mistakes and disappoint us. Dwelling on these things can tear one apart and cause us to be frozen and unable to move past the situation. It can create a desperation in our own thought process and cause resentment of and by others.

Holding resentment and grudges for things others have done to us does nothing more than make us miserable. There is nothing we can do other than move forward. Hopefully, lessons were learned and mistakes won’t be repeated, but either way, we can’t go back and undo the past.


In case you missed the first three:

#1 HONOR YOUR HERITAGE.

If you don’t know the traditions of your ancestors, perhaps this is the year you should research and discover them This might be the year you begin researching your family tree and see what you find out. My son-in-law is Filipino, a group I had only limited exposure to until I met him. I have encouraged my daughter to make sure their sons learn about that culture as well as hers. From their Lola (grandma) they are learning many traditions. They attend weddings, feasts, and other events of a rich culture. They’re learning about the traditional foods, language, dances, and clothing. Your heritage is a part of you. Some ignore this, seeking instead to blend into a melting pot of sameness. Perhaps you don’t have any reason to make it a part of your daily life, but if nothing else, it can be fun to discover traditions and holidays your ancestors followed.


#2 RESPECT YOUR RITUALS AND CUSTOMS.

Without even realizing it, our past is a part of the future. These are the rocks your foundation is built upon. Take time to keep the parts that are important to you, that you feel is true. It is in this repetition of rituals that teaching the following generation takes place. As you participate, you take it in and you understand meanings and apply them to our own life. While I didn’t grasp the depth until I considered it, this was why I was so touched when I learned that my 4 year old grandson, Noah, would be a shepherd at Christmas. He had heard the Nativity Story, yet did not fully understand it. But like all of the prior generations of “shepherds” before him, he was now a part of the tradition, a tradition that had potential to become a source of richness and internal peace. It is a reassurance of sorts, that despite the craziness of the world and the new inventions, some things will continue to be important.


#3 HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR FAITH.

To most of us, our faith journey is a constant work in progress. But, without convictions of belief, what serves as the compass? Without some internal principle, we are left to twist in the wind. My faith in God gives me the assurance of constant presence, shown not only to those in history, but in my own life. Most importantly, there is the internal peace I can’t find elsewhere.

#3 Have Confidence in Your Faith

10 Tips for the New Year ... and the Rest of Your Life

As the new year approaches, we often think back on the year we’re finishing, and at the same time, consider the year ahead. This mood of reflection started my thinking along those lines, but my thoughts went off on a tangent and I began to consider instead, how to best live this new year before me. It is my offering, such as it is, of advice for life. These are things I’ve figured out, even if I am still working on how to apply them to my own life.


Here's the third tip:

#3 HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR FAITH. 

To most of us, our faith journey is a constant work in progress. But, without convictions of belief, what serves as the compass? Without some internal principle, we are left to twist in the wind. My faith in God gives me the assurance of constant presence, shown not only to those in history, but in my own life. Most importantly, there is the internal peace I can’t find elsewhere.

In case you missed the first two parts:

#1 HONOR YOUR HERITAGE.

If you don’t know the traditions of your ancestors, perhaps this is the year you should research and discover them This might be the year you begin researching your family tree and see what you find out. My son-in-law is Filipino, a group I had only limited exposure to until I met him. I have encouraged my daughter to make sure their sons learn about that culture as well as hers. From their Lola (grandma) they are learning many traditions. They attend weddings, feasts, and other events of a rich culture. They’re learning about the traditional foods, language, dances, and clothing. Your heritage is a part of you. Some ignore this, seeking instead to blend into a melting pot of sameness. Perhaps you don’t have any reason to make it a part of your daily life, but if nothing else, it can be fun to discover traditions and holidays your ancestors followed.



#2 RESPECT YOUR RITUALS AND CUSTOMS.

Without even realizing it, our past is a part of the future. These are the rocks your foundation is built upon. Take time to keep the parts that are important to you, that you feel is true. It is in this repetition of rituals that teaching the following generation takes place. As you participate, you take it in and you understand meanings and apply them to our own life. While I didn’t grasp the depth until I considered it, this was why I was so touched when I learned that my 4 year old grandson, Noah, would be a shepherd at Christmas. He had heard the Nativity Story, yet did not fully understand it. But like all of the prior generations of “shepherds” before him, he was now a part of the tradition, a tradition that had potential to become a source of richness and internal peace. It is a reassurance of sorts, that despite the craziness of the world and the new inventions, some things will continue to be important.